As a 26 year old male who proudly owns two cats, regularly uses body spray, and hasn't had anything close to a girlfriend (or an actual friend) in a very long time, I sometimes feel the overwhelming desire to shoot guns, lift weights, eat 5 pound steaks, and soup up a chevys- you know, activities which provide testosterone boosts and make me feel manly.
Unfortunately, outside of the steak, most of those options are a little out of my abilities, forcing me to live a manly life vicariously through other mediums. So today, I present to you a few of the items that never fail to make me feel like an old fashioned red-blooded American male:
Item #1- Comics with a sense of Justice:
In my previous post here at LOL, I mentioned that a lot of the comics I recently purchased had a more violent slant to them. While I admit over-the-top violence gets old after a while(see the movie Punisher: War Zone, better yet, don't see it) there is something ultimately satisfying about the forces of good definitively deal with the forces of evil.
I think it's the whole idea of simple justice- "an eye for an eye." If someone does something wrong, the hero makes sure they pay for it in full. There's no chance of the villainous revolving door antics of Batman or Spider-Man's rogues galleries. Instead the endings are cold and final, with a sense of retribution.
Recommendations:
- Crisis Aftermath: The Spectre 1-3 -As the new host for the Spectre, Crispus Allen (a manly man himself), must deal with the punishment of his own killer as well as passing judgment on his own family. While these deaths are not as "cut and dry" as most of the comics I'm talking about, this deals with the idea of true justice.
- Jonah Hex (Anything from the current run)- As a former confederate who lives by his own code, Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti's Jonah Hex is his own man, doling out just desserts to each and every vile foe he faces, while upholding the honor of decent folks just trying to live their lives.
- Any of the Dark Horse Robert E. Howard Adaptations- Conan, Kull, or Solomon Kane. Any of these heroes deal with the responsibility of upholding justice with swift and decisive actions that end lives...often graphicly. Solomon Kane puts it best when he states:
Item #2- Anything Eastwood
Over the past few months I have been on a big Clint Eastwood kick. Starting this summer when I finally sat down to watch all the Dirty Harry movies (did you know there were 5? I didn't). I've found that Clint is the one constant in an ever changing world. Tough, brash, a little smug, and apparently indestructible, I'm pretty sure Clint's acting prowess comes from the fact that he probably isn't doing that much "acting." The dude is a bona-fide Bad-A** S.O.B. And although most of the time he plays a sexist, foul mouthed bigot, you can't help but have a fearful respect for the guy's tough as nails attitude.
I remember seeing an interview between Eastwood on 60 Minutes, and when the anchor asked him something about why his kids all had different mothers, Clint gave him this look that I swear could burn holes in things. I thought my TV was gonna melt or something.
But I digress, because I'm sure the actor would much rather be known for his movies. Well, I mean, if he cared what anyone thought....
Must See Moments:
- "Dirty Harry"- Eastwood foils a man's suicide attempt by climbing a cherry picker up to the ledge where the man is threatening to jump from. After getting the guy to start talking about his problems, Harry simply punches him and grabs his limp body and brings it back down safely. Now that's negotiation that gets results!
(This song has been in my head all week, by the way)
-" A Fistful of Dollars"- Probably my favorite of the "Man with No Name" westerns that I've seen so far, Eastwood plays an untouchable gunslinger who sets two rival gangs against one another, all the while profiting from their deaths and misfortunes. There were a lot of manly moments, but the best was when Clint is beaten to a bloody pulp, manages to set fire to the town, and then escapes inside a coffin on a wagon.
If they ever made an "Old Man Logan", or needed to cast an aged Bruce Wayne in a "Batman Beyond" feature, Eastwood would be the perfect choice.
Ok, he’s not what would be considered a huge player in the Simpsons universe, but look at him. The fact that he’s killed in new and hilarious ways time and again makes him morbidly compelling.
As someone who has worked in the school setting before, for me Principal Seymour Skinner’s character rings truer than any other on the show. While everyone can relate to the way the kids thumb their noses at Principal Skinner because he’s an authority figure, I’ve also felt his pain as someone who’s just doing his job, trying to set a good example for youngsters. And of course, there’s the hilarity of Skinner’s relationship with his beloved mother, which draws its inspiration from Norman Bates in "Psycho".